


Carpool Hell

by CaptainSwanLuver



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, F/M, Family, Humor, Parent Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 07:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7836364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainSwanLuver/pseuds/CaptainSwanLuver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killian has recently gotten his license so Emma tasks him with taking over carpool duty.  He soon finds that villains, curses, and the Underworld are no challenge compared to six children in a minivan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carpool Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for your responses to ‘Royal Pain’. Not sure where this came from, but I thought it would be fun to write. Hope you enjoy it! ~Steph

...Carpool Hell: Part 1/1...

Killian joined his two children on the couch in the living room. Nine year old Liam looked up at his father, his dark hair falling across his forehead and his blue eyes mirroring his own. 

"Why did Mom call this family meeting, Dad?"

Killian shrugged. "I haven't a clue, son."

Seven year old Ruthie met her father's eyes, her blonde curls falling around her shoulders. "Yeah, Mom only calls family meetings when there's a new villain or curse."

Liam's eyes lit up. "I hope we have a Villain's Day off from school tomorrow! We haven't had one in forever."

Ruthie threw her arms up in the air, her gap-toothed grin growing wide. She had Emma's smile and her father wrapped around her finger. 

"Yeah!"

Killian shook his head. "Loves, I’ve heard nothing about a new villain or curse. Perhaps we should just wait for your mother before making any other-..."

"I'm here," Emma said, as she entered the living room and took the chair across from them. 

"What's going on, love? Is everything okay?"

Emma nodded. "Everything is fine. No new villain or curse."

Killian breathed a sigh of relief, while Liam and Ruthie adopted pouts.

"Now I have to study for that stupid science test tomorrow," Liam muttered.

"Good to hear," her husband replied, looking at her. "So why did you call this family meeting then?"

Emma leaned forward as she looked at their children. "So you guys know that Daddy got his license a few months ago."

Killian beamed with pride. It was certainly not easy learning to drive, especially with a hook for a hand, but he had done it. Emma had a few gray hairs to prove it.

"Just barely," Liam mumbled under his breath so only his sister could hear.

Ruthie laughed, while Killian looked at them quizzically.

"We are all very proud of your father," Emma said. "And I was thinking that now he can help out with some of the things I always have to do."

Killian's eyes grew wide. "What did you have in mind, Swan?"

"Well, you are an incredible husband and an amazing father. We are very lucky to have you," she said. 

“I’m sensing a but is looming,” he said. 

Emma smiled slightly. "But you don't exactly carry your weight around here."

Killian's jaw clenched. "Love, you've banned me from using all the appliances in the house. There's not much I can do."

"Do you blame me, Killian? You set the stove and dryer on fire. You flooded the kitchen with the dishwasher and the basement with the washing machine. And you somehow made the coffee pot and microwave explode. Twice."

Liam and Ruthie laughed, as Killian's face grew red in embarrassment. 

He smiled sheepishly as she shrugged. "It's true I can still struggle with modern technology at times."

Emma nodded. "I know and I understand. I mean, you’re an over 300 year old pirate. But now that you can drive you can help out in other ways. You can run errands and go grocery shopping.”

Killian grimaced. "Sounds like torture."

"You can help with getting the kids to their activities." Emma went on. "And I was thinking you could take over carpool for me."

Killian swallowed roughly. He didn’t know much about carpool, except that Emma hated it. The parents rotated weeks. She had to pick up and drop off their children, Robyn, Neal, Lizzy (Regina's adopted daughter) and Timmy (Belle and Rumple's son) at school.

Killian sucked in a breath. "I don't see how that's possible when you have the car all day."

Emma had given the bug to Henry when he went off to college. She had a toddler and needed to upgrade to an SUV anyway.

Emma smiled and held up a key. "Actually, I have a surprise for you."

She walked over to the window and threw back the curtains, as her husband and children joined her.

Killian's eyes grew wide as he stared at the red monstrosity.

"What in bloody hell is that?"

"It's a minivan."

Liam and Ruthie jumped up and down with excitement.

"Does it have a DVD player?" Ruthie asked.

"Yup," Emma nodded.

"Yes!" the kids cheered. 

Killian shook his head violently. "I refuse to drive that thing, Swan. You’ve seen the Jolly Roger. I only captain majestic vessels. Perhaps we could trade vehicles instead."

Emma smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Nice try, but no."

Killian sighed in defeat. "Come on, love. Carpool is the task you despise the most."

"Exactly why I am delegating it to you," she said with a grin. She slapped him on the shoulder. "Good luck. You start tomorrow."

...

That night, Emma sat in bed reading. Killian crawled into bed beside her, his mouth immediately latching onto his wife's neck as he trailed kisses to the spot just below her ear that he knew drove her wild.

The book fell away from Emma's hands as she brought one up to grip his hair and the other to claw at his bare back. Her head dropped back against the headboard, her eyes closing. 

His lips moved to her collarbone and he continued his path to the valley between her breasts, dropping a kiss there as his hand went to cup a soft mound through her camisole. Emma bit at her lip, as she brought her hands to his face and pulled his mouth up to hers. She drove her tongue into Killian's mouth, smiling at the moan she elicited. 

Then she abruptly pulled away and brought her lips to his ear, "I know what you're trying to do."

He kissed her shoulder, his voice muffled against her skin. "I'm trying to make love to my beautiful wife."

Emma touched his chin so he would look at her. "You're trying to get out of your carpool duties."

"Is it working?" he asked, eyebrow arched, as he suppressed a grin. 

Emma chuckled. "Despite a valiant effort, no."

Killian sighed, dropping his head to rest on her breasts as he looked up at her with puppy dog eyes. 

"Please, love, I don't believe I am cut out for the carpool."

"Killian, you've captained a ship, fought endless villains, and survived the Underworld. I think you can handle a bunch of kids in a carpool."

He groaned in defeat, as he lifted himself off of her and sat beside her. She handed him a sheet of paper. 

"This is everything you need to know. The order to pick up and drop off the kids. School starts at 9:00. Late bell is 8:50, so you need to get them there by 8:45. School ends at 3:00. Try to get in the pick-up line about ten minutes early. Got it?"

"Aye," he replied weakly.

"A few tips. No food in the car. Don't let them take out snacks or buy them anything. It makes a mess and you'll end up with a bunch of kids on a sugar high. Lizzy always has to go to the bathroom. Make sure you ask her if she went before she gets into the car. Robyn is a crier. Cries over every little thing. And Timmy."

Killian felt his jaw clench at the mention of Belle and Rumple's son. Unfortunately for him and everyone else, he had only inherited his mother’s dark hair and eyes and nothing of her kind disposition. Despite Belle's best efforts, Timmy had taken after his father and had a penchant for making bad choices. He was known for breaking the rules and pulling pranks. 

"I am acquainted with Timmy," Killian said.

"Just watch him carefully," Emma said. 

"Is that all, love?" he asked.

"For now. Next week, we'll go over Liam and Ruthie's after school activities." Emma brought her hand up to caress his cheek, her voice lowering, "Thank you for doing this, Killian. It will take a lot off my plate."

Killian's face softened. He pressed a kiss to her lips. "I'm happy to assist, Swan."

Emma smiled as she moved to straddle his lap. She met his eyes. "Plus, just think about how much energy I'll have for more pleasurable activities now that you're taking this over."

Killian's eyes sparked with desire for his wife. "You should have led with that."

Emma giggled as he captured her mouth with his again.

...

Day 1

Emma looked out the window at her husband. He was sitting in the van, trying to acquaint himself with it. She headed outside and got in the passenger seat. She immediately clamped her hands over her ears as she was assaulted by the blaring of the radio. The windshield wipers were moving furiously and the GPS voice was saying ‘recalculating’ over and over again. 

"Bloody hell, Swan, I can't figure out this infernal contraption!" he bellowed, slamming his hook on the steering wheel.

Emma pressed a button to silence the radio, flicked a gear to turn off the wipers, and stopped the GPS. 

She smiled at him. "There are a lot of knobs and dials, I know. You only need to know the basics."

She turned the key in the ignition and showed him where the turn signal was. 

"You'll be fine," she said, as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I believe in you.”

Killian sighed heavily as the back doors slid open and their children piled in. 

Emma turned around to face them. "Be good for your father. Have a great day."

Killian kissed Emma. "I'll see you at the station after I drop off the children," he said.

"Okay, see you soon," she replied, as she exited. 

Emma stood on the grass and waved at them. Killian took a deep breath as he put on his seatbelt. He looked in his rearview mirror and put the car in reverse as he slowly began to back out of the driveway. 

"Wait!" Liam yelled.

Killian slammed on the brake and turned around to face his son. "What the devil is wrong?"

"You didn't ask us if we're buckled up. Mom always does."

Killian breathed a sigh of relief and then gritted his teeth. "Are you buckled up?"

They both gave him a thumbs up. 

"Fantastic," he grumbled.

...

Killian pulled up in front of Regina's house. She and six year old Lizzy were waiting at the curb. Lizzy was a tiny brunette with pigtails and freckles. After several attempts at pressing the wrong button, he finally lowered the passenger side window.

"What the hell are you doing here? Where is Emma?" Regina asked, as she leaned in toward him.

"Good morning to you too, Regina," he replied with a grin. "I have assumed the carpool duties from Emma."

Regina arched an eyebrow as she gestured to him. "You have got to be kidding. You expect me to trust my child's life to the Handless Wonder, who's had his license for all of three months?"

Killian shrugged. "Feel free to drive her yourself."

Regina's expression softened. "I have a meeting to get to." She sighed. "Fine, I will allow this on a trial basis, but if I hear of any problems then we will be withdrawing from the carpool."

Killian shrugged as Regina opened the door for Lizzy. "Have a good day, sweetheart. I love you."

Lizzy climbed into the third seat and strapped in. Killian waved at Regina as he pulled away.

...

Killian picked up the rest of the children without incident. He was beginning to feel confident and   
thought maybe this carpool thing wouldn't be so bad. 

They were nearly at school with a few minutes to spare when Lizzy yelled out. 

"I have to pee!"

Killian sighed heavily. Damn Regina, he thought. She had distracted him and he had forgotten to ask if she had used the bathroom before leaving as Emma instructed.

"We are nearly at school. You can use the loo when you get there."

"I need to go NOW!" she screamed, as she wiggled in her seat.

"Trust me, Dad. She can't wait," Liam said. 

Killian let out a groan as he surveyed the area for a bathroom. They were right in front of the sheriff's station. He pulled into the alley. He was hoping he could sneak Lizzy in and out without Emma noticing and realizing he hadn't followed her instructions.

He turned to the kids. "You all wait here. We'll be back in a minute."

"We're going to be late! I hate being late!" Robyn said and began to whimper. 

Robyn had red hair like her mother Zelena and eyes like her late father. She had also inherited her mother’s flair for the dramatic. 

"You're just going to leave us all alone in the car?" Timmy asked. "You know you're not supposed to do that, right?"

"It will take much longer if we all go and there is a greater risk of being detected."

"What if we pass out from the heat?" Neal asked. 

Neal was the oldest of the children and the splitting image of his father, David. He was also a bit of a worry wart like his mother. 

"It's sixty degrees out," Killian replied. 

"What if someone kidnaps us?"' Ruthie asked.

"You're right outside the sheriff's station. I assure you nothing will happen to you in two minutes."

"You could get arrested for leaving kids in the car alone," Timmy stated in that know-it-all manner Killian detested.

"I work at the sheriff's station, as does my father-in-law. My wife is the sheriff. I believe I have connections to avoid time in the brig.”

"So that makes it okay?" Liam asked.

"I need to go!" Lizzy screamed and clamped her legs together.

Killian ran a hand down his face. "Bloody hell, we're wasting time! Let's all just go. Follow my lead and try not to draw attention to yourselves."

They all piled out and Killian led the way to the back entrance where the bathroom was located. They quietly entered and he ushered all of the children except Lizzy into a storage room to wait. 

"Remain quiet," he instructed them as he closed the door.

He walked to the next door and sent Lizzy into the bathroom. A moment later he heard his wife's voice behind him.

"Hey, you’re here already. You must have gotten the kids to school right on time. How did it go?"

Killian spun around to face her, as he discreetly put his hand on the doorknob to keep the bathroom door closed in case Lizzy tried to exit and blow their cover.

"It went exceedingly well."

"Great," she said, kissing his cheek. "Thanks."

"I just realized I forgot my phone at home though, so I am going return home quickly to retrieve it," he said.

"Okay," she replied. 

She was just about to leave when she saw the bathroom door being tugged beneath his hand 

"Let me out!" Lizzy yelled, as she pounded on the door.

Killian squeezed his eyes closed, as Emma looked at the door in confusion.

"Who's in there?"

Emma pushed on the door and it swung open, revealing Lizzy.

"Lizzy?" she said. "What are you doing here?"

Killian laughed nervously as he looked down at the little girl. "You have a school field trip here today, isn't that right?"

"No," she said shaking her brown pigtails back and forth. "I had to pee."

Emma placed her hands on her hips. "Killian."

"I can explain, love."

Just then, they heard a crash in the storage room.

"What the hell was that?" Emma asked, as she rushed to the room.

Inside, she found the children and an overturned shelving unit with toilet paper and cleaning supplies all over the floor.

"Bloody hell," Killian muttered. “So much for not drawing attention to yourselves.”

Emma turned to her husband. "I'm waiting."

“Well, love, it’s bring your children...and their, uh, mates...to work day.” He gestured to the room. “Children, this is the storage room. It is used for...storage.”

Emma shook her head. “You would think your years spent as a pirate would have made you a better liar.”

Killian sighed in defeat. “Fine, Regina distracted me with her rudeness and I forgot to ask Lizzy if she needed to use the loo. She couldn’t wait until she got to school, so we snuck in here to use it.”

“Why didn’t you just walk in the front door and say Lizzy needed to use the bathroom, Killian?”

“I didn’t want you to know I had failed my first day of carpool.”

Emma’s expression softened and she placed her hand on his arm. “The first day is always the hardest. Don’t worry, tomorrow will be better.” 

Killian offered her a small smile. She always believed in him. “Thank you for understanding.”

She then turned to the kids. “And what happened in here?”

Ruthie pointed to her brother and Timmy. “They were climbing the shelf to see who could get to the top first.”

Emma’s eyes narrowed at the boys. “Clean it up right now. You need to get to school.”

…

Day 2

Killian picked up all of the children and they were ahead of schedule by five minutes. They were almost at school when Liam yelled out.

“I forgot my lunch!”

Killian momentarily squeezed his eyes shut. “Unbelievable.”

“Mom always asks if we have everything!” Liam said.

Killian looked at his son in the rearview mirror. “Well, I am trying to make you more independent and responsible, son.”

 

“We need to go back and get it,” he wailed.

“No!” Robyn screamed. “We can’t be late again! I hate being late!” 

“Dad, can you please drop us off and then go home and get it?” Liam pleaded.

Killian shook his head. “Sorry, my boy, but I have a meeting to get to at the station. You’ll have to purchase lunch today.”

“No way! It’s meatloaf! I hate meatloaf!”

“Then perhaps you can share your sister’s lunch,” he replied.

“She has peanut butter. I hate peanut butter,” he moaned. 

Killian groaned and spotted the drugstore up ahead. They were five minutes ahead of schedule so he determined they could run in and get something quickly. He pulled to the curb. Timmy looked at the drugstore. 

“What are you going to get for lunch in there?” he asked.

Killian ignored him as they all piled out. Once inside, the children immediately scattered in six different directions. Killian didn’t even attempt to round them up. He walked to the snack aisle. Liam appeared by his side a moment later. 

“Here you go, lad,” Killian said, handing him a stick of beef jerky and a bag of pizza flavored tortilla chips. 

“What kind of lunch is this?” Liam asked. 

“The kind you get when you forget your lunch. Perhaps you’ll be more careful next time. I do believe it covers most, if not all, of the food groups though.”

Liam wrinkled his nose, but followed his father as he went in search of the others. He found them in the toy aisle. 

“Let’s go. We don’t want to be late.”

Killian paid for the food and they all piled back into the van. They were nearly at the school, when Killian felt something hit the back of his head. It felt wet.

“What the devil was that?” he asked, as he patted at his head and the kids dissolved into a fit of giggles.

Suddenly, ribbons of silly string shot at Killian. The pink and blue string hit the windshield, dashboard, seat, and Killian. 

“Bloody hell!” he said, as he swerved for a moment, his hook gripping at the steering wheel, and then slammed on the brakes. He pulled to the curb. 

Killian’s eyes flared as he spun around in his seat. Timmy held two cans of silly string in his hands. The children were still doubled over with laughter.

“What the hell were you thinking? You could have caused an accident!”

“Lighten up,” he said, rolling his eyes. “My dad is right about you. You’re such a drag.”

Killian felt his jaw clench. “Where did you even acquire the silly string?”

He shrugged with a smirk that mirrored his father’s. “Stole them from the drugstore.”

Killian shook his head. “Like father, like son. Take what you want, no matter the consequences.” 

“This coming from a pirate,” he grumbled.

Killian bit his tongue. “I am calling your mother.”

Belle arrived a few minutes later. She marched him to the drugstore to apologize and pay for the silly string. Then he was ordered to clean up the car and was grounded for two weeks. 

Killian walked the kids the rest of the way to school. He entered the sheriff’s station, still covered in silly string. Emma’s eyes widened at the sight of her husband. She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. David made no such effort. 

“I like the new look,” he said. “It really suits you.”

Killian offered him a withering glare, as he sank down into the chair beside his wife. She brought a hand up to his leather jacket and picked off a piece of silly string. 

“What the hell happened to you?” she asked.

“Timmy,” he replied through clenched teeth.

Emma ran her hands through her husband’s hair, gently removing the silly string. It had started to dry so this was no easy task.

“Your son forgot his lunch so we stopped at the drugstore and Timmy absconded with some silly string. He then proceeded to spray it while I drove, nearly causing an accident.”

Emma shook her head. “I hope you called Belle.”

“That I did. She handled it.”

Emma looked at him and brought her hand to her cheek. “I’m really sorry. I thought for sure today would be better.”

Killian shook his head. “Swan, I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge, but I do believe carpool exceeds by abilities.”

“Just give it this week, Killian. If after Friday you want me to take over again, then I will.”

Killian leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Thank you, love.”

…

Day 3

Killian was able to get the kids to school without incident and on time. Timmy was on his best behavior. He was starting to feel better about the whole situation, until they got into the car after school. 

“Liam kicked me!” Ruthie yelled.

“I did not!”

“Leave your sister alone,” Killian ordered as he looked in the rearview mirror at his son. “Apologize.”

“But I didn’t do anything!” he whined.

Killian opened his mouth, but was cut off by Robyn.

“Neal looked at me with a mean face!”

“I did not!” 

“Everybody stop yelling!” Lizzy screamed, as she clamped her hands over her ears.

To Timmy’s credit, he sat silently. Killian rubbed at his temple with his hook, as they continued to bicker behind him. Suddenly, his eyes lit up when he saw Any Given Sundae. If there was one thing he knew about kids, it was that they could be bribed with ice cream.

“Who wants ice cream?” he asked.

They immediately stopped fighting and shouted in unison, “I do!”

He glanced back at them. “Do you all promise to behave?”

“Yes,” they nodded.

“Fine, but we will have to take it to go or your parents will begin to wonder where you are.”

“Mom doesn’t allow food in the car,” Ruthie said. 

“What your mother doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” Killian replied with a grin.

They filed out of the car and headed into the ice cream shop. Killian tried to persuade them to get the ice cream in cups to reduce the chance of a mess, but they all insisted on getting cones. They piled back into the car and continued on their way. It was the quietest they had ever been as they ate their ice cream. 

They were nearly at their first stop, when Killian had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting a dog. The children jerked forward in their seats, restrained by their seatbelts. Robyn began to wail as her ice cream hit the back of the passenger seat.

“Bloody hell,” Killian mumbled.

He clearly hadn’t thought this through. Ice cream cones, kids, and cars do not mix. He was so desperate to stop their fighting and quiet them that he had made a huge error in judgment. 

Lizzy began to bounce in her seat because she had to use the bathroom, despite answering in the affirmative when Killian asked her if she had gone before leaving school. She bounced so hard that her ice cream flew off her cone and landed on the ceiling.

She pointed and started crying. “My ice cream!”

Killian looked in his rearview mirror and saw the chocolate dripping from the ceiling. 

“Fantastic,” he muttered. 

He drove a little faster and began to drop each child off. Every last one was covered in drips of ice cream as they exited the van. By the time he arrived home, his van looked like an ice cream factory had exploded. It was all over the floor, ceiling, and seats. His own two children looked as if they had bathed in the stuff. Killian knew Emma would be home soon. He hoped he could get the children and van cleaned up before she arrived. 

“Into the shower the both of you. Liam, use ours,” he ordered.

They did as they were told and then Killian retrieved some paper towels and upholstery cleaner. He returned to the van, moaning and groaning as he attempted to clean up the huge mess. Emma arrived ten minutes later, but he had made very little headway. He quickly closed the door and turned around to face his wife. 

“Hello, love,” he said.

“Hi,” she replied, as she pressed a kiss to his lips. “What are you doing out here?”

“Oh, I, uh, dropped my wallet in the car and I was just retrieving it.”

Emma leaned forward as she eyed his leather jacket. She swiped her finger across his collar and then brought it to her mouth.

“Is that cookies and cream ice cream?” she asked.

Killian glanced down at the drops on his collar. He must have gotten it on him while he was cleaning.

“Killian?” she said when he didn’t reply.

Killian was at a loss for words. Emma reached around him and pulled on the back door handle. The door slid open, revealing the mess. Her eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open. She turned back to her husband.

“Tell me you didn’t let them have ice cream in the car.”

“In my defense, I tried to persuade them to get it in cups.”

“You let them have ice cream cones in the car?!”

“Love, they were fighting and I just wanted it to stop.” He brought his hand up to cup her cheek. “I know we agreed long ago that your magic would only be used when absolutely necessary, but I’d say this qualifies, wouldn’t you? Perhaps you could just wave your hand and the van will be as good as new.”

Emma shook her head. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“So then you’ll do it?” he asked, a grin upon his lips.

She stepped back. His hand dropped to his side. “No, that just means I won’t make you sleep on the couch tonight. You made the mess, you clean it up.”

She then turned on her heel and headed inside.

“Swan! Come on! Be reasonable!”

But she slammed the door in response.

...

Day 4

Killian watched as Neal made his way to the car with his science project: a volcano made of clay. He slid inside and settled it on his lap. 

“Impressive, lad,” Killian said.

“Thanks,” he replied with a proud smile. 

They continued on their way to school until Killian heard a crash behind him. Timmy had a football that he had thrown up and it had landed on Neal’s project. 

“No!!” Neal screamed, as he looked at the ruins of his volcano. 

“Sorry,” Timmy said with a shrug.

Killian glared at him. “Your mother will be hearing about this too. I don’t believe you’ll be seeing the light of day for quite some time.”

“It was an accident!” he argued.

“What am I going to do? This was due today!” Neal moaned.

“Don’t worry, lad,” Killian said with a comforting wink. “We’ll fix it.”

“We’re going to be late again,” Robyn whined.

Killian ignored her and drove to the drugstore. The kids followed him inside as he quickly gathered some items and then returned to the van. Neal looked at the items: Chocolate donuts, frosting, and cherry pie filling.

“What am I supposed to do with all of this?” he asked. 

“Build a volcano, my boy. It’s time to get creative.” 

Neal groaned as he tried to stack the donuts up to resemble a volcano, using frosting to hold them in place. He then poured the cherry pie filling down the sides to simulate lava. 

“That looks awful,” Liam said.

Killian threw him a dirty look. Neal pouted as Killian started the car again. They were nearly at the school when he heard Ruthie start to moan.

“Daddy, I don’t feel good.”

Killian looked in the rearview mirror at his daughter. “What’s wrong, love?”

“My belly hurts,” she said, as she wrapped an arm around her stomach and tears appeared in her eyes. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Just take a deep-...”

He was cut off by Ruthie opening her mouth wide and vomiting all over the backseat. It landed on the back of the passenger seat, the floor, and her clothes. Lucky for Neal, his project emerged unscathed.

“Bloody hell,” he said for the tenth time that week.

“Gross!” Liam yelled, as the other kids made gagging noises.

Ruthie began to cry as Killian quickly pulled over. He jumped out and ran to the back door, pulling it open. 

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” she said, her lower lip trembling.

“It’s alright, love. No need for apologies. Daddy will take care of you.”

Killian was just about to go in search of paper towels. He hoped his always prepared wife had thought to stick them in his trucnk, as she did in her SUV. But he didn’t get a chance because Ruthie threw up again, this time all over him. 

The kids thought this to be incredibly funny and began to laugh uncontrollably, with the exception of his daughter. 

“I’m sorry,” she said weakly.

Killian looked down at his clothes and then smiled comfortingly at his daughter. “No worries, love. All that matters is that we get you feeling better.”

Killian looked at Neal. “You’re the oldest, lad. School is only a block away. Take the others and walk them to school so they aren’t late.”

Neal nodded and the kids filed out. Killian looked across the street at the sheriff’s station. He needed his wife. Ruthie needed her mother. He unstrapped Ruthie and pulled her out of the car. She clung to him, burying her face in his shoulder and wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, as her tears hit his skin. Killian rubbed at her back comfortingly.

“You’re going to be just fine, sweetie,” he said. “We’re going to go see Mommy.”

Killian crossed the street and entered the station. Emma’s eyes grew wide when she saw her husband and daughter covered in vomit. 

“What happened?” she asked, as she brought her hand to her daughter’s back.

“I got sick on the way to school,” she replied in a pitiful voice.

Killian sighed. “Twice. It’s all over her, me, the car. I was hoping I could clean both of us up before I bring her home. I’ll stay home with her today.”

Emma smiled and waved her hand at the window in the direction of the van and then at her husband and daughter. Their clothes returned to their clean state, as did the van.

Killian grinned. “Thank you, love.”

Emma brought her hand to her daughter’s forehead. “She’s burning up, Killian.”

“I’ll administer some medicine when we get home,” he said. 

Emma kissed her daughter’s cheek. “Feel better, honey. Daddy will take good care of you. I’ll see you soon.”

Emma pressed a kiss to her husband’s lips. “I’ll pick up the kids from school this afternoon.”

He offered her a grateful smile as they headed out.

...

Hours later, Emma found Killian lying beside their daughter in their bed. She slipped in on the other side of her. 

She brushed her hair off her forehead as she met Killian’s gaze. “How is she?”

“Fever is down. No more vomiting. She’s been sleeping for the past three hours.”

Emma smiled at her husband as she found his hand and linked their fingers. “You’ve had a tough week.”

“Aye and it isn’t over yet.”

“Why don’t I take over carpool, Killian? You gave it your best effort.”

Killian shook his head. “No, love, I must see this through. Actually, I believe I have a plan to ease some of my troubles.”

Emma nodded and then leaned forward, their lips meeting. 

...

Day 5

Killian looked in the rearview mirror as he drove toward school. He smiled at the kids who had headphones on and were watching a DVD that he had put on. It had taken several attempts to figure out the DVD player, but he finally had and it was a godsend.

He looked at the list he had taped to the dashboard. He now asked each child every question on it before they were allowed to enter the car: Do you have your backpack? Do you have your lunch? Do you have your homework? Did you use the bathroom? Will you need to use the bathroom in the next fifteen minutes? Are you feeling sick?

He also had a roll of paper towels tucked beneath the passenger seat and a plastic bag under each child’s seat in the back. He was now prepared for anything. 

Killian continued to the school and dropped the children off. When he returned to pick them up after school, they immediately put the headphones back on to watch the DVD. He didn’t hear a peep out of them. When he dropped Neal off at his in-laws, he also dropped off his children. They were spending the night with their grandparents. 

Killian entered his house, looking forward to some peace and quiet with his wife. He went upstairs, showered, and changed into a t-shirt and some sweats. When he came back down, he found a note taped to the counter.

“Meet me in the garage,” it said in her familiar scrawl. 

Killian’s brow peaked with curiosity as he headed into the garage. He walked around the van and peered inside the rear window. His wife waved at him from the back and then popped the trunk.

“What are you doing in here, Swan?”

Emma smiled at him. “One feature you probably didn’t notice was that these backseats go completely down.”

Killian grinned as he saw the air mattress she had set up in the back. She had a flameless candle placed on top of it beside a picnic basket.

“Come here,” she said.

Killian crawled into the back of the van and sat opposite his wife.

“This is quite the set-up you have here, love.” He gestured to the picnic basket with his hook. “But I thought food wasn’t permitted in the car.”

Emma inched closer to Killian and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I figured I would make an exception this one time seeing as how you’ve had such a tough week.”

“You are brilliant,” he said, as he pressed a kiss to her lips.

She met his gaze as they parted. “I know this whole carpooling thing was difficult this week. I really appreciate you sticking it out. I’d be happy to take it back over though.”

He shook his head. “Not a chance, Swan. Today was a rousing success. I’ve conquered the Underworld and now I’ve conquered carpooling. There isn’t anything I can’t do.”

Emma laughed, as she pushed on his shoulders and pressed him down onto the mattress. She climbed atop him, straddling his hips. She looked down at him and smiled.

“What do you say to replacing those unpleasant memories of events that occurred here this week with one very pleasant memory that you’ll gladly recall for years to come?”

Killian grinned, as he raised his hand to cup her cheek. “I’d say what are we waiting for?”

Emma chuckled as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her husband’s lips. She moaned into the kiss as his tongue swept into her mouth. Killian flipped them over. Emma landed on her back and then reached up to his face to bring his mouth back to hers. He dropped his hook onto the mattress as he steadied himself above her. But before their lips could meet again they heard a pop and then a hiss. Their eyes widened as they felt the air slowly seeping from the mattress. Killian’s hook had made a hole. Soon, they were sinking into the middle of it as it swallowed them. Killian laughed, as he buried his face in his wife’s neck and kissed it.

Emma chuckled. “Do you want to continue this inside?” she asked.

“No way, Swan. You know I love a challenge,” he replied.

Emma laughed, as he pulled back the neck of her t-shirt and began to pepper her chest with kisses. 

...THE END…  
Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear what you thought. ~Steph


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